Quan Yang (second title: Sacred Scepter) is a conceptual sculpture – an artistic lamp that presents a new understanding of sex.
Dimensions: (w)48 x (d)24 x (h)55 cm
Materials: pinewood, oil paints, LED lighting, beeswax, varnish.
Sexual energy is much more than just pleasure and procreation. It is the source of life-force creativity. And even more, because this energy has great healing properties. Sexual energy is truly the magical crystalline energy of life.
Creating this sculpture took me well over a year. I think it was the most difficult year of my whole life. And yet it was the most transformative year in my whole life.
From having a mystical experience in the forest and receiving this piece of pinewood – through creating several energetic installations, allowing the wood to dry; then cleaning it, sculpting, painting, conserving using beeswax and varnish – to distilling it all into a type of conceptual essence.
So, yeah, it’s not the physical portion of this creation that was the most relevant for me. It was about addressing subconscious blockages and wounds concerning my masculinity, femininity, and their inter-play called sex. Facing it all took tons of deep belly-breathing.
You see, I always had problems with intimacy. Actually, it is the very thing that caused me to explore my inner world. Being born into a Christian family, I got all the nasty programs of guilt and shame – believing that sex is something God doesn’t like. Subconsciously I even believed that desiring intimate experience with myself or another is primarily sinful. Such is the dogma of the Church. And I am aware that it’s not in just one religion – most, if not all of them teach pretty much similar nonsense.
Naturally, the subject of sex came out more and more in the process of integrating with my Soul’s Light. As the saying goes, ‘when the light comes in, crap comes out.’ And I had a lot of it. Built-ups from lifetimes upon lifetimes of my spiritual path, searching for the connection with Spirit, God, Universe. Searching for who I really am.
How odd, that the moment I got truly in touch with my Soul, she started to show me the true sacredness of sex. And I started to desire it with my whole heart. I desired to not just have sex but to make true love. Intuitively I felt the potential of magic in sex, but I wasn’t sure how to get to it. I checked on Tantra, Kamasutra, and some Taoist approaches called Ars Amandi. While these all are great tools, I felt there is something even more to be found.
And that’s how I’ve finally arrived at Tobias’ Sexual Energy School (SES).
I took the class for the first time in early 2010. I had to travel to Romania, because at the time the school was taught only in-person, by certificated teachers, and there were none in my country. Now I know that I was very lucky to meet precisely these teachers. Because they truly walked their talk and were highly adept at dealing with difficult energies.
I have to admit that this school was a breakthrough in my life. My inner knowingness was correct – sex is sooo much more than what humans think. So much so, that I decided to translate Tobias’ SES materials into Polish and help organize the very first workshops in my country.
So, these last ten years of my life were all about sex. All about understanding energy and love. Attraction, sharing, and also energy stealing. Going deep within to release all of the monstrous monoliths of shame, guilt, anger, and fear. Especially this last year was the most difficult. Will it ever end? – I sometimes wonder. Yet still patient with myself.
It might be viewed as very complex when you take a closer look at the energy called sex. Although ultimately it’s really simple. It’s all about self-love. I had no idea just how much junk I have accumulated within my being. Most of it is due to religions and spiritual beliefs. But then it turned out it’s not just about human karma or stuck energies from other physical lifetimes. It is mostly about my angelic or Universal, ancestral karma.
That’s why I had to visit myself from eons ago. Well, to be precise, they, my past aspects, have visited me. To open my sexuality, it turned out indispensable to address all of the blocked & broken aspects on the way. And it wasn’t pretty. It was horrific! I don’t even want to talk about it. I don’t fully understand it in my mind. I don’t think I even want to. I just know for sure that sex is my doorway to freedom. And the physical act of making love is solely a drop in the ocean of energetic truth. Very important and precious drop, that leads to the enormity of self-realization.
All in all, it’s about discovering my True Nature. Such is the grandness of sex.
So this sculpture is my symbol of what I have discovered. It’s a lamp because sexual energy creates light. When you do it in a sacred, conscious way, it becomes truly magical. And this light saturates – the energy of orgasm goes into everything in your life. It clears the mind, rejuvenates the body, and opens up the spirit within. Allows it to emanate and shine… it is remarkable beyond words! Balanced, sacred sexual energy is an epiphany of creative inspiration.
But, yeah, it takes a while. At least that’s how I have experienced it. And it’s not over yet. I still feel some old things that are surfacing up from within me. I have also discovered that making art is very similar to making love… It might very well be the same thing! So, yes, I gonna sure make yet another sex-lamp! 😉 And probably many more.
If you’d like to get one for yourself – please let me know.
I chose the name Quan Yang for this sculpture because in my process of integration I’ve been working with the energy of compassion called Quan Yin. While yin is more of feminine essence, yang is its masculine counterparty. There can be no Quan Yin without Quan Yang. Just like there can be no feminine without masculine, and vice versa.
I’ve also included a rose in some of the photos because it is my symbol of compassionate consciousness, which bears the fruit of creative inspiration – the fruit of the rose.